Every year, Ms. Strong’s kindergarten class at Whitesboro’s Hayes Primary School shares their favorite Thanksgiving recipes -- at least, how they think these traditional meals are prepared. Enjoy this sweet tradition, but maybe think twice before following their instructions.
Turkey by Arthur Simmons
Buy a 19 pound turkey at the Turkey Store for 30 dollars. Put it in a pot with 10 gallons of water, 10 cups of oil, and 5 cups of salt. Cook it in a 2 degree oven for 2 hours. It’s done after 2 hours. It tastes like a real meal for your family!
Ham by Breann Sleigh
Buy a 60 pound ham at Wal-Mart for 7 dollars. Put it in a pot with 2 spoons of butter, 8 cups of water, and no salt because the kids won’t eat it if you put salt in there. Cook it on a high stove for 8 minutes. It’s done when your Mom says it’s done! It tastes like good ham!
Steak by Hunter Porter
Buy 2 or 3 steaks at Wal-Mart for 6 or 5 dollars. Bring them home and have your Dad put them on the grill, then your Mom will start cooking them. Put something that’s like salt, but it’s not salt, on them. Put about 1 gallon of the salt like stuff on the steaks because your sons like sour stuff. Cook the steaks on the grill 10 or 7 minutes. There is a cord that goes through your door and when that cord beeps, the steaks are done and your parents will know and the kids will know too. You can eat them with pepperoncini because you might have a brother that likes spicy stuff. They taste like spicy, but not really spicy, but they are spicy!
Chicken Nuggets by Dry Reedy
Buy 1 bag of chicken nuggets from Wal-Mart for 100 dollars. Put them on a pan and cook them in a 50 degree oven for 2 minutes. They are done when your Mom checks them and if they look good, they will be done. Serve them to the kids with catsup. They taste like normal chicken nuggets!
Lasagna by Nehemiah Harrison
Buy 1 big box of lasagna at the store for 9 dollars. Bring it home and put it in a 300 degree oven for 300 hours. It’s done after one hour. Serve it to your family and eat it with bread. It tastes like ABC food!
Rice by Emma Daughty
Buy 1 little box of rice from the store for 3 dollars. Bring the rice home and put it in a pot with 5 spoons of water. Cook it on a high stove for 5 hours. It’s done when the water stops cooking it. It tastes good!
Mashed Potatoes by Corey Acosta Swartz
Buy 6 potatoes at Wal-Mart for 16 dollars. Wash them, cut them in pieces, and put them in a pot. Cook them on a high stove for 15 minutes. You have to stand there and watch it cook and when it looks done then it is done! Add 1 scoop of butter, 1 cup of salt, and 5 cups of milk. Mash everything together. Then, you put brown gravy on them because your son loves brown gravy on mashed potatoes. They taste good, like regular mashed potatoes!
Green Beans by Ruby Bartley
Buy 1 or 2 cans of green beans at Wal-Mart for 4 dollars a can. Put them in a pot with some water you fill up from your sink. Cook them on a stove or in the fryer on medium heat for 1 hour. The beans are done when your Mom takes off the lid and looks to see if they are good. The kids have never tasted them, but the little sisters like to eat them!
Mashed Potatoes by Dakota Earnest
Buy 1 bag of potatoes at the Dollar Store for 4 dollars. Wash them and peel them. Put them in a pot with 5 ounces of water and cook them on a really high stove for 6 minutes. The potatoes are done when the stove beeps. Mash them up then eat them with a fork. They taste like potatoes!
Macaroni and Cheese by Ellie Dorris
Buy 4 boxes of macaroni and cheese for 5 dollars. Take the macaroni out and put in a bowl. Put 1 ounce of water in the bowl and microwave on medium for 40 minutes. Take it out. Take the cheese packets out and cut them open with scissors. Squeeze the cheese in and mix it with the noodles. It tastes like mac and cheese!
Green Beans by Trystan Harris
Buy a whole box of green beans for 1 dollar. Bring them home and pour them in a pot. Put a whole cup of water with them and cook them on a low stove for about 1 minute or so. They are done when the timer goes off and dings, that’s when it’s done. Have your Mom go check them to see if they are done. You eat green beans with a fork or a spoon and you can also eat them with your mashed potatoes. They taste like green beans!
Pumpkin Pie by June Pena
Buy a pie crust from the Wal Mart for 60 dollars. Pick a 60 pound pumpkin from the garden and cut it open with a knife. Have your Dad take the seeds out, then scoop the pumpkin out. Mix the pumpkin in a bowl with 14 medium sticks of butter, 20 cups of sugar, 60 cups of brown sugar, 14 eggs, 20 drops of oil, and 1 cup of milk. Pour the mixture in the pie crust and bake in a 400 degree oven for 60 hundred hours. It’s done after 50 minutes. It tastes like pumpkin pie and you can put whip cream on it! The kids can make a jack-o-lantern with a vampire face out of the left-over pumpkin!
Dessert Quesadillas by Violet Thompson
Get a bag of tortillas from your cabinet where all the snacks are. Shape them into a triangle shape. Get a big scoop and 1 drop of Nutella, then add 1 scoop of milk and 2 handfuls of sugar and salt. Mix that up and spread it on the little tortillas. It tastes like sugar!