I was searching through some archives last week and came across a column from June 2020.
Four years have flown by, but the words here still hold true, and I am glad I found it.
I am happy to report that my daughters still seem to want to be around me— though they are now well into their teen years.
This little memory helped me reset and put things back in perspective, so I am compelled to share it with you again.
Jennifer and I have four children— three girls and a boy.
I was reared with all brothers. In fact, there was a dry spell of Lewter girl births from the late 1930s until the mid-2000s. So raising girls has been an education, but one I would not trade for the world.
Daughters are different. I love my son, but daughters are different. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably has all sons.
Our daughters are 11 and almost 10— the twins are 11.
So, they are still at an age where they seem to want to have something to do with me.
I realize that may change in the coming years, but I sat down over Father’s Day weekend and collected my thoughts on how blessed I am to be the father of three such wonderful young ladies.
It got me thinking about the world we live in and the future and the changes ahead for all of us.
I was compelled to put my thoughts into this letter:
To my daughters,
Having the three of you is one of the greatest joys I can imagine.
I love you all more today than I did yesterday and, today, I am more proud of you than I ever could be.
Being your father is a privilege and, since Father’s Day just passed, I wanted to take a few minutes to list a few things I need you to know:
1. I love you. I was put on this earth to be your daddy and it is not something I take lightly. No matter what happens, don’t ever doubt the love I have for you. I can’t stress this enough: I love you.
2. As you get older, I will lean right in. I know as you approach your teenage years, it will become— at times— awkward for all of us. We have already been through some awkward times, and we leaned right in.
You leaned right in. I promise you I’ll do the same. I promise to be every bit as engaged when you are 15 as I am today. I’m not going anywhere.
3. I promise to be present. I realize you couldn’t care less about my emails and social media posts. You are right. They don’t matter.
What matters is you and me and the time we get to spend together. I promise to turn the phone off after work and be with you more.
4. Your heart is more beautiful than your appearance. And all three of you have the most beautiful, generous hearts I’ve ever known. Don’t ever lose that.
5. I am going to screw up and you’ll be asked to forgive me. As hard as I try, I am going to blow it sometimes.
When I hurt your feelings— when my intentions are better than my actions— I’m going to ask for your forgiveness. I know this and I promise, when it happens, I will be sincere and respectful of your feelings.
Your dignity, courage and persistence to be your best is inspiring.
I’ve said it all along: you are strong, you are important, you are beautiful, you are smart and your daddy loves you.
I am learning more and more every day just how strong you are and that strength is inspiring.
Dad
I found this exercise to be calming and cathartic.
I challenge all fathers ouy there to do the same this week. Think about your children and how blessed you are.
Write them a note.
Tell them how you feel.
Let them know how proud you are of them.
I promise the process will benefit all of you greatly.